It is really hard to say just how many people are struggling emotionally these days. We see extreme cases of this in the news, usually involving a gun and several unwitting victims of circumstance. But how many people do you interact with every day that are not happy, or even depressed? Hard to say; but I can tell you this, far too many people hide behind masks of their own making in order to not face the truth about their lives. This is a dangerous practice, as it leads to a cumulative affect that takes far longer to overcome. Rule number one…don’t lie to yourself. It makes it much easier to follow rule number two, which is don’t lie to others.
I have two different friends, to remain nameless for obvious reasons, who both are in the process of filing divorce. Each of them posted family photos from vacations and from Christmas, continuing to paint the veneer of happiness in their lives. They are embarrassed to admit things are not going well at home, but they fake it on Social Media to the rest of the world to keep the facade going. This is not a healthy practice whatsoever. While I am not a clinical psychologist, I know enough to understand that lying to yourself is a very detrimental practice. You are not going to have an objective look at your life, and then start taking action to resolve the issues. I am not advocating airing your dirty laundry to friends and family, but don’t blatantly lie about things. Radio silence is perfectly acceptable as an alternative. Fifty percent of people who get married end up getting divorced, so stop thinking you’re the only one going through something difficult. Shit happens; neither of you planned on it, but this is where you are at, so put on your adult pants and deal with it.
When the music has stopped, quit dancing….
I can tell you that, personally, I have not posted anything on Facebook for several years. My real friends know what is going on in my life because I talk with them on a regular basis. That is the definition of real friends. And, I don’t live under the illusion that my life is so interesting that people want to know what I am up to at all times. And, I don’t want people knowing what I am up to at all times either. It’s bad enough that things like Alexa and my smartphone know what I am up to… I use Social Media as a way to connect with people for the sole purpose of promoting my speaking business. I write a blog as a way to promote the thought processes behind my talks that I do in consulting part of my business. I am careful what I share, what I say, and much of it is not personal at all. I am not hiding anything, I just don’t want every facet of my life on display.
When did we all switch over to the idea that sharing so much detail about our lives is necessary? Are we all part of the cult so much that Instagram and Facebook have brainwashed us to think this is the new norm? I don’t remember voting on this, and I sure as Hell didn’t approve this on my own. So, as I have stated before, I am advocating cutting back on the constant tethered connection to the world. I pick and choose when I look at stuff, and I have killed all of the notifications on my phone except text messages. While there are some good things about Social Media, this is certainly one of the things that we all must be aware of, and work towards fixing. Circling back to my friends I mentioned, I hate to see them suffering and dealing with what has been and is going to continue to be a tough situation for a while.
Because I am close with both of them, I do know that real story, and I am trying to help and be supportive as best I can. But so many of the people connected with them, who may have valuable insight or at least just friendly support, are not aware of the story behind the scenes. And they are going to be blindsided by the news when you change your status to something other than “Married”.
If there was ever a time to start living a REAL life, being authentic about you and what you do, this would be the year. 2020 should be a year of clarity, of good vision, and to see the world for what it really is. Stop flexing, stop pretending, and quit financing your insecurities promoted by people who have the same issues. Get off the merry-go-round and start walking your own path. It is the key to happiness.
I wish you luck in your endeavors.
by Darrin Schenck
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by Darrin Schenck
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